September 23, 2013

Just a reminder, stay positive.

This is a long post, but apparently it's a rambl-y day. So here it is! Read it, or pass.

Before we begin, let me give you a little back story. Through much of my life, I've been a "stewer." Waiting on something to bug me - daring anyone to start with me. While I was out, strangers did not speak to me. Instead they glanced and looked away after taking in my scowl and glare. Co-workers avoided me for fear of my mood. It took nothing at all to "ruin my day" or to set me off. I tried to change, repeatedly. It didn't work. Usually it was a small nothing that set me off on a tangent. I was aggressive. Plain and simple. I am not sure when exactly it happened, but eventually I did start to make progress. Most of it has been the last 6 months. (Since moving in with my fiance, both of us have changed for the better.) I smile more now, and find more enjoyment in life.

Today was one of those days where I got up in a cranky mood. Often times these days can be off-set by my daily gratitude exercises, but not today! My sinuses hurt, the weekend wasn't long enough, and while absentmindedly braiding my hair, I looked over towards our bed and realized there was a situation there. Long story short, our box spring is a disaster and needs immediate attention. *sigh*
Soon every little thing was on my nerves, and I wasn't angry but I was fussy.

I felt on the verge of tears as my future husband headed off to work. Yet I pushed myself to ignore it, putting on my makeup, and tossing on some clothes I headed out the door to Petsmart & Meijer. (Other side of town, but Petsmart is the only place I can buy her food in town!)
In the car, I start thinking. First, berating myself for "failing" yet again and letting my vibration fall. (If that makes sense to you, yay! But if not, that's okay too.) The more I grouched at myself, the worse I felt. Then, something went "Click!" in my brain. I stopped saying nasty things to myself and instead slapped on a semi fake smile.

Once I had begun my shopping, I grabbed the items on my non-grocery list. And halfway across the store it hit me. I didn't have both of the cards I needed. In my haste of sorting and grabbing coupons, I had forgotten the other card. I knew there wasn't enough cash in account #1 for Isabella's dog food - and I felt it brewing within me. The grouchiness. Driving back across town and coming back was out of the question. She needed food! Not today, but certainly by Wednesday. I didn't want to drive over here again tomorrow!
Then it occurred to me, "I'm not doing this to myself."
Then it hit me. I opened my Amazon app and looked up her food. Found it! Cheaper than Petsmart! The card was already stored! My sister had accidentally signed me up for Amazon Prime (free trial) when she ordered my nephew's birthday gift so I had free 2-day shipping. guaranteed it by Wednesday. I smiled. I had made a mistake, and it still turned out better in the end!

I commenced my grocery shopping. Collecting items in my cart, I came upon the canned soup. There was a woman also doing her shopping (at one point, I would have considered this person in "my" way.) Instead I waited calmly, and grabbed items I needed. Then I began to peek around her and noticed what I needed wasn't there. She looked up, and said "there isn't any cream of chicken!" in a surprised voice. I confessed that was also my sought item. Sure enough, every brand, entirely gone. Perplexed, I resigned quickly, but she apparently did not. Two aisles later, while I was cruising the aisles on auto-pilot, I heard someone call out from behind me. I turned around and here was Cream of Chicken lady with a slight smile. A can in each hand she met me in the aisle and held out one can. I couldn't believe it. I had nothing but gratitude to offer, but I gave her plenty of that. It greatly touched me that she took the time, after finding two spare cans on an end cap, to hunt me down in the store and offer me a can. That one thing kept me abuzz for the remainder of my shopping trip.
I kept my smile on, people spoke to me and I spoke back.

Making my way to the self check-outs, waiting my turn, the woman in front of me was actually aware enough to use the separating bar at the end while she bagged her items. As she got ready to depart she called to me that she was going to release the bar for me, and help my items on down to the bagging area!
I can't count the times I have used a self checkout and never had anyone offer to help me. Two amazing people! One day!

On the ride home, I thought to myself how it was almost as if all these lovely people had been sent to me today, as a result of my continuing to keep a smile on my face - even when I wanted to just give it up.


Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.